Work, life and things in between – Day 118 – In a big way!
I thought long and hard about how this story would end. I felt I needed a big break through, a great success story, something that said “This is real” in a big way”.
I wanted a story like I am hired by this global company, as an independent coach and they want me to coach their leaders all over the world. They will provide the corporate jet. First stop is Geneva. I have this thing for Geneva….Then all their leaders would be grateful and successful and I could come back and tell everyone how to be immensely successful in 15 chapters!
I don’t feel I have a success story to tell at this point. Somehow I feel like I owe one to the readers….so, for days, I agonized over how to end this story….
Then my sister wrote and asked “You have accomplished so much already, when will it be enough? When will you stop? Or will you ever stop?
I can answer the last question. I will not stop. This is only the beginning. I need a sign. Something big that will tell me “OK, you’re in, for good.”
It reminds me of how I felt at twenty after college. My boy friend at the time still had one year to go before launching his career. We were in love, lived in the same city and the next logical thing to do seemed to move in together but I could not.
I was hoping eventually to do that, but right that moment it was not possible for me to think that my life would simply go from being a student living with my Mom and Dad to being a 9 to 5 worker living with my boyfriend, over night. No way!
I felt it was a crossroads in my life and I wanted an event!
I wanted the parting of the red sea, the skies to open up and angels to sing, fireworks to go off and music filling the air. I wanted big, spectacular knock me off my feet kind of event. Strike me dead if nothing big happens in my life!
Not just a change of address at the post office…
Luckily for me, lots of big stuff happened in my life in the years that followed but today, trying to find a way out of this story feels the same. I am not hearing thunder or applause.
The last few months have been so busy with various trips that I have been unable “to end” that project. We were in Halifax when the weather was mild and people were bracing themselves for yet another brutal winter. Then we were in La Martinique when no one else was there and we could enjoy the quietness of empty beaches. Then we were in New York, twice actually with the last time shortly before Christmas when the City was as giggly as a child at the circus. It is true what they say about New Yorkers. They love Christmas.
So I was still looking for the last piece, hoping it would show up at the least expected time. To day 119.