Work, life and things in between – Day 14: Can I do stillness?
As the days progress I am unsure of how I feel. I will either get comfortable with this new pace and this opportunity to explore stillness, time and reflection, or I will grow increasingly uncomfortable. The jury is not out yet.
Standing still when everything else around you is changing feels like watching the water level rising into your basement on a particularly bad stormy day and just standing there. It is not a natural state of affair for me.
My biggest challenge is my mind. It is increasingly difficult to shut it off. It is racing ahead of me all the time. It is blowing whistles, shouting “warning”, flagging danger, definitely not wanting to let “quiet” settle in. Quiet and brain do not get along very well it would appear. As I like to say, this is a birth defect. I was born without an on/off switch to that brain.
Quite simply, my brain needs to grow up. It still acts like a kid in the candy store. It wants everything and bounces back and forth but will not sit still long enough for anything to take. I say this despite having successfully raised three children and managed a career.
I say successfully because all three of them are adults today and if you met them you would find them to be grounded individuals with an appreciation for life, nature and fellow human beings. I am so very proud of whom they have become and particularly enjoy the way they have remained closely knit despite their individual lives.
In my life I am first and foremost a Mom. I know that. I loved my children as kids; I enjoy them even more as adults. Being a mom without child care duties is the best thing since sliced bread! On top of that my middle child is a Chef and when we have family gathering, he runs the show in the kitchen. Can it get better than this?
Everything else is gravy.
I have also enjoyed a very successful career which has allowed me to develop and grow socially, professionally and financially.
In other words, when I have to, I can hold a very strong focus and deliver. This is just the hick! When I have to. At the moment I don’t have to anything. I don’t have to provide for my children. I don’t have to work for a living (for a little while at least). I don’t have to deliver at work. I don’t have to get dressed in the morning. I don’t have to answer the phone . I can do what I want. This is when my brain goes AWOL and wants to do everything.
Think of it as a Piñata you just broke.
Candies and chocolates are flying all over the place. This is how my brain feels on sabbatical! I will need to tame that beast.
Sigh! There is so much more I need to do. Read on to tomorrow.As the days progress I am unsure of how I feel. I will either get comfortable with this new pace and this opportunity to explore stillness, time and reflection, or I will grow increasingly uncomfortable. The jury is not out yet.
My biggest challenge is my mind. It is increasingly difficult to shut it off. It is racing ahead of me all the time. As I like to say, this is a birth defect. I was born without an on/off switch to that brain.
Quite simply, my brain needs to grow up. It still acts like a kid in the candy store. It wants everything and bounces back and forth but will not sit still long enough for anything to take. I say this despite having successfully raised three children and managed a career.
I say successfully because all three of them are adults today and if you met them you would find them to be grounded individuals with an appreciation for life, nature and fellow human beings. I am so very proud of whom they have become and particularly enjoy the way they have remained closely knit despite their individual lives.
In my life I am first and foremost a Mom. I know that. I loved my children as kids; I enjoy them even more as adults. Being a mom without child care duties is the best thing since sliced bread! On top of that my middle child is a Chef and when we have family gathering, he runs the show in the kitchen. Can it get better than this?
Everything else is gravy.
I have also enjoyed a very successful career which has allowed me to develop and grow socially, professionally and financially.
In other words, when I have to, I can hold a very strong focus and deliver. This is just the hick! When I have to. At the moment I don’t have to anything. I don’t have to provide for my children. I don’t have to work for a living (for a little while at least). I don’t have to deliver at work. I don’t have to get dressed in the morning. I don’t have to answer the phone . I can do what I want. This is when my brain goes AWOL and wants to do everything.
Think of it as a Piñata you just broke.
Candies and chocolates are flying all over the place. This is how my brain feels on sabbatical! I will need to tame that beast.
Sigh! There is so much more I need to do. Read on to tomorrow.