Work, life and things in between – Day 40 – Road to discovery!
Here is an AHA moment. Today I sat at my computer before sunrise, in my PJ needless to say, and started working on a blog. When I looked up it was 3 pm. Seriously! I had a headache mostly due to starvation and my vision was blurred. What is even more surprising is that today is a beautiful day. The kind that compels you to go out and play. Normally I would be getting antsy to go outside. Not today. What is going on?
I literally forced myself out of the house but mostly I wandered around until I allowed myself to get back in and go back to my computer. Reminds me of the cold and rainy days of back packing in Europe when the local youth hostel was my home; They kick you out in the morning and you just walk around the block waiting for the doors to open again, because you have nowhere else to go.
“Here is something that does not feel like work”. At long last I found one! Feels like I had to dig for a long time but did not really know what I was digging for. Remember Cheshire, the cat in Alice in Wonderland when it said “If you don’t know where you are going, any road will get you there”? a smart cat I must admit…realizing the pleasure of writing feels like finding yourself somewhere and thinking “this must be where I was heading”. A bit of a backward process maybe?
I can do it for hours on end, I never run out of something to say. At times I laugh, I cry, I get excited, I never, never tire of it. I want more and more of it all the time.
You may think this is coming out of nowhere but really, all my life I have been writing, in my head that is! But seriously I have put a few things down on paper, mostly a journal, although I have had a book in the making these last two years and am still working at it. I thought of writing when I sat in the lounge, waiting to board my planes, when we taxied and took off and no computers were allowed and therefore I could not work, when riding in the cab on my way to wherever, at the dentist, while roller blading, when swimming laps… I constantly had this on the back of my mind thinking this would be the greatest luxury to indulge in. Sit down and write until I run out of things to say or emotions to wear!
Well now I can! Writing was always something I did late at night before turning in, or when I was overwhelmed with grief or stress or joy and had to exit some of the “overflow”. I never associated writing with a normal daily activity.
I think this may be a first hint; a first real piece of the puzzle. I am not sure what I have unearthed, but it feels real and big! and what if I found out that I have been wearing this on my sleeve all along? To day 41.
Here is an AHA moment. Today I sat at my computer before sunrise, in my PJ needless to say, and started working on a blog. When I looked up it was 3 pm. I had a headache mostly due to starvation and my vision was blurred. What is even more surprising is that today is a beautiful day. The kind that compels you to go out and play. Normally I would be getting antsy to go outside. Not today. What is going on?
I literally forced myself out of the house but mostly I wandered around until I allowed myself to get back in and go back to my computer. Reminds me of the cold and rainy days of back packing in Europe when the local youth hostel was my home; They kick you out in the morning and you just walk around the block waiting for the doors to open again, because you have nothing else to do.
“Here is something that does not feel like work”. At long last I found one! Feels like I had to dig for a long time but did not really know what I was digging for. Remember Cheshire, the cat in Alice in Wonderland when it said “If you don’t know where you are going, any road will get you there”? a smart cat I must admit…realizing the pleasure of writing feels like finding yourself somewhere and thinking “this must be where I was heading”. A bit of a backward process maybe?
I can do it for hours on end, I never run out of something to say. At times I laugh, I cry, I get excited, I never, never tire of it. I want more and more of it all the time.
You may think this is coming out of nowhere but really, all my life I have been writing, in my head that is! But seriously I have put a few things down on paper, mostly a journal, although I have had a book in the making these last two years and am still working at it. I thought of writing when I sat in the lounge, waiting to board my plane, when we taxied and took off and no computers were allowed and therefore I could not work, when riding in the cab on my way to wherever, at the dentist, while roller blading, when swimming laps… I constantly had this on the back of my mind thinking this would be the greatest luxury to indulge in. Sit down and write until I run out of things to say or emotions to wear!
Well now I can! Writing was always something I did late at night before turning in, or when I was overwhelmed with grief or stress or joy and had to exit some of the “overflow”. I never associated writing with a normal daily activity.
I think this may be a first hint; a first real piece of the puzzle. I am not sure what I have unearthed, but it feels real and big! and what if I found out that I have been wearing this on my sleeve all along? To day 41.